siht si ton riaf

sooooo, fuck...everytime i see HIM, SUX, i mean it really sux, i hate it, i paralize but not totally, just the part of myself that i can only say hello and go away, just to sabotage myself. I dont know, i mean the conversation was amazing, but maybe im afraid of something, something i dont know what is..... Fuck again. im having trouble speaking, i feel completly vulnerable.... i Dont like to see him, and hes always there! like in the spot i choose to stay and there he is... without me knowing... or choosing to be by his side. this is pathetic.. i feel... i feel a lot. Damn you.